I think I'm addicted to drugs...but I dont know what to do

Have you tried sniff coke out of a whores ass? Wolf of Wall Street made me want to try that.

It sounds like you are an addict to me, sounds like you're hitting it quite hard and you're married. Are you one of those sleazy druggies who bangs lots of other crackheads even though you're married? If so then that's the first thing you need to stop, your death might not be the only thing you'll lose your fiance to. Maybe try and get a different job, that's probably why you're hitting the white stuff so hard. Cocaine isn o joke man I've seen it ruin lives.

Not gonna pretend I was in your situation but I had a similar situation about two years ago. I was in a bad place and wasnt getting access to my son because of his mother's partner.  Anyway I had a down period where I was binging mephedrone for about two months. Its street name is meow or mkat dunno if you know it in the US but you snort it just like coke.

I lost a shit load of weight,  struggled to remember simple things and would wake up not remembering what I did the night before.

I had a wake up call, stopped taking the stuff, took at least a week for the smell of the drug to finally leave my system and I was ok after.

I know its not exactly the same thing but you need to stop asap. If u cant do it on your own maybe you should tell your partner (she doesn't know right?)

Its cliché,  but admitting the problem really is the main thing you can do cos when I realised my problem I was disgusted with myself and it gave me motivation to sort myself out.

You've done the hardest bit which is to admit you have a problem. Already you're a better man than you was before admitting. Take that as a big positive, mate.

In regards to what to do next, you have a woman who clearly means the world to you and you have a long term goal which is to get married next year. Ask yourself, do you want to get married to the love of your life as a clean man ready to enter a new stage of your life or do you want to enter that stage wrestling demons that that lady does not know about. Only you can answer that.

My opinion: you've done the hard bit by admitting. Now take the initiative and fix yourself one day at a time. Find another outlet, don't look around for an equal buzz because it probably won't be there. Stay positive and dive into this wedding preparation. If you get relapses, think of what is at stake in exchange for that short high. Also, speak to your fiancée about this too. Being manly and keeping this to yourself isn't cool, you'll lead yourself to depression.

Mordy I get it dude. Speed is my worst enemy. At first it was great i could do everything, but then eventually i was taking 250 mg of Vyvanse in the course of a day and a half. That would happen often. My mouth would go dry, my tongue would turn different colors, my chest would hurt... All because you want that few hours of feeling god like. But when youre coming down off shit and if you really out did yourself, just ask yourself next time why you put yourself through this. Try to rationalize everything. It will really motivate you to start trying to stop.

Jheez white people and their drugs man.

It really depends how far gone you are... how much do you do in a day? what kind of pills?

for me i was having health problems and lost a lot of weight and even fell asleep at a hockey game last year... the pics of me from that game are on facebook and i don't look so good... so earlier this year i just stopped with it all i don't even take over the counter stuff anymore unless i have a serious headache... quitting oxy was difficult for a week or so, but i've been clean for a few months... the best thing to do is keep busy and do a lot of work... distract yourself... you will likely have stomach aches and sweats and chills maybe even the shits... but you'll make it man... you also and i mean this more then anything... stay away from the people you know who do this and who sell this... or you'll be back on it in no time... i wish you the best buddy... you can do it.

Jheez white people and their drugs man.

Didn't we use to have a joke back in the day where i was selling drugs for you and we were picking up "hoes" or was that someone else? haha

He was pushing rocks, fo' sho'.

These guys are giving you better advice than I can Mord, listen to them. Snake is totally right, the best way to cut something out of your life is to do it completely at first, don't go back before you're ready. The best you could hope for from those people is some half-hearted support, maybe they'll stop offering things to you. They sure as hell won't stop doing it while you're around or talking about how awesome it is. Just get away, stay away and most importantly remember why you're doing it.

It sounds like a lot of people here have had issues with similar stuff. What was it that got you all to that place? Did recreation just get out of control, did you think it wouldn't be as bad as it was...?

Jheez white people and their drugs man.

Didn't we use to have a joke back in the day where i was selling drugs for you and we were picking up "hoes" or was that someone else? haha

Hahah yeah that was definitely me.

high again fuck

You need to take the advice given and dig deep into your willpower man... how often do use those drugs? are they just every few weekends? or is it an everyday thing? if it's just a weekend thing then you might be looking too deep into everything and just feel like you are stuck... either way you can get out of it... just don't go deeper then you already are... i know i want to help you and know you got past this.. but it's like the old saying you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.

chux, i meant to reply to what you asked a while back but the forums were screwy and it wouldn't let me post...

long story short... prescribed for injuries ten years ago... found someone else to get them from cheap and nearly free and it just got worse from there.. over the past 5 years it was all out addiction and it showed in my attitude to people including those on 4w... i'm sure some of the guys who know me well enough can probably look back and see i wasn't all together for a while...i feel like i was Shawn Michaels in the late 90s... always moody and high.... now i'm pretty much peaceful and focused.. and acting my age... 31 isn't all that old... i remember kondor use to post on here when he was 31 back in the day and thought he was a great grandpa damn... i'll probably still be who i am when i'm 41.... actually i'm not 31 for a couple more weeks.

Ramble on Snake!

WHOSGONNASAVEME?! LOL

Grow up

Grow up

Best advice given in this thread yet.

Grow up

Best advice given in this thread yet.

I agree after the last post.... i'm kinda thinking this is a joke now.

SMH....wow. You think I would joke about this shit Snake?! Really?

And yeah im high again contemplating driving to a recovery center. I really cant stop.

If you don't want people to think it's a joke, don't make posts acting like it is a joke.

You want help? Go get it. That or end up losing everyone you love. Quit messing about and actually do something about it.

The way you made your last post came across as trolling or just making fun of the issue...

I still wish you the best of luck Mordy, maybe heading to a clinic is the best thing you can do...at least get the worst part of it out of the way... you gotta put your foot down on it.. if you really want it to go away don't be afraid to let it go.

you pretty much have brothers on this site... i can't speak for everyone but many of us who have known you for the last 8 years or so care...do the right thing.