Am I a Homophobe?

Your opinion is your opinion, and people don't usually change their opinion no matter the argument. While you may not be homophobic, the wording of your comments above seem a very homophobic (and sexist) to me.

Some people are against gay marriage. At one point people were against interracial marriage. Personally, I'm the product of an Interracial coupling. At one point people were against marriage outside of your nationality (Irish should only marry Irish, etc). You are born how you are – White, Black, Irish, Straight, Gay (unless you subscribe to the theory that someone would CHOOSE to enter a lifestyle where they are persecuted for their sexual preference and will be 'damned for all eternity' by a number of religions).

What someone else does in their own lives – that has no effect on my life in any way at all – is their own business. I have a good number of gay and lesbian friends, and they are all pretty good people who just happen to be sexually attracted to their same gender. I have a son, and if he ends up being gay, I'll still love him and support him.

Your opinion is your opinion, and people don't usually change their opinion no matter the argument. While you may not be homophobic, the wording of your comments above seem a very homophobic (and sexist) to me.

Some people are against gay marriage. At one point people were against interracial marriage. Personally, I'm the product of an Interracial coupling. At one point people were against marriage outside of your nationality (Irish should only marry Irish, etc). You are born how you are – White, Black, Irish, Straight, Gay (unless you subscribe to the theory that someone would CHOOSE to enter a lifestyle where they are persecuted for their sexual preference and will be 'damned for all eternity' by a number of religions).

What someone else does in their own lives – that has no effect on my life in any way at all – is their own business. I have a good number of gay and lesbian friends, and they are all pretty good people who just happen to be sexually attracted to their same gender. I have a son, and if he ends up being gay, I'll still love him and support him.

I know what I said was homophobic, i think I want to know does the fact that it disgusts me make me a homophobe? The sexist part was just a bit of trolling to piss off the person I was speaking to, I don't actually mean it.

I also am one of those people who don't believe you're born gay, I don't believe it's a choice either at the same time. I think it comes down to how you're socialsed ad nurtured, like circumstances made being gay a much clearer path if you get what I mean. And no, I don't think they'll be damned to anything. I also think that if Britney Spears can get married for 72 hours or a man can beat the shit out of his wife and still get married, then 2 men should be allowed to get married as well. But you can't compare interracial couples to gays.

And I agree with the last paragraph, although it sort of irks me when we teach kids that gay is ok and promoting it as normal.

Last edited by H Sticks (Sun-2-Feb-2014 14:51:02)

I've always said that I have no issues with gays, but I'd rather not see it.

People can be gay all they want, a very good mate of mine is gay. What I really like about him tho is that you'd never know he was gay. He doesn't flaunt it, he's not camp or anything like that. And that's what I like, he treats it like it's his life and it's perfectly normal. Can't stand people being camp, as everyone I've known who is camp have all been putting it on, and I can't stand people flaunting it just to be all "look at me I'm gay". Don't need to see that shit. Gay people want it to be normal so treat it as normal like my mate does.

Gays want to be treated like everyone else right? We don't promote heterosexuals. Heterosexuals don't promote themselves, having a parade to say "I'M STRAIGHT!" so if gays surely want to be treated like everyone else, they should just act like everyone else?

(NOTE: I don't mean this for all gay people - just the gay people that do flaunt their sexuality. I know a lot of gay people who you wouldn't know were gay if they didn't tell you.)

I have no problem with gay people and of course they should have the same rights as everyone else. I think the problem is gay people making the fact they are gay their personality - like they have to go out of their way to let everyone know they are gay. When most people don't care or don't have a problem with it.

Sure there are people who are homophobes - they are the people who go out of their way to do the opposite - hate speech and protests against gays - that is homophobia. But if gay people want no-one to be like that, they are out of luck... even today, we still have racists and sexists. It's just some people are assholes, and always will be.

Long story short, no, you are not homophobic if you don't like to see gay people being intimate in your close proximity. It's no different to you being bothered by a man and a woman being intimate and telling them to "get a room".

Last edited by rhys (Sun-2-Feb-2014 15:49:43)

I think this idea of gay people being overly camp is something the media promote, so I don't really see it the same way. It's like say 'I'm cool with black people, but I wish they would leave their guns and hoes at home', what the media promote of people aren't what the people are actually like. I'm sure there's way more Neil Patrick Harris' than Graham Norton's, if you get what I mean. I do think if I had a kid I'd tell him not to be gay, I don't think I'd handle if he was.

I worked with a guy a few years ago. Spoke like a girl, wore the tightest trousers you could ever wear, proper minced when he walked with one hand swaying. Was a proper"look at me I'm gay". Funniest thing I ever saw in that place was when one of the company CEO's came down. He walked normally and spoke normally, showing everyone in the place that everything he does is an act. You still get them and I can't stand them. Neil Patrick Harris' I can deal with, Graham Norton's I can't.

No doubt. My old manager at Argos was a massive camp fellow, like he was literally Graham Norton 20 years ago. He use to annoy the shit out of me with his girly behaviour and emasculation of himself, I use to always wonder why gay men would act like less of a man just cos they like boys, it's insulting. But at the same time I've met people who fit so many stereotypes, gangsta wannabe black guy, greedy jews, chinese people selling DVDs you name it I've seen it all. But I don't believe in it.

At the end of the day. If a gay man jumped on your back, would you leave him on there? Or would you toss him off?

If he was my friend? i would put up with him on my back for a few seconds... if not then i'd throw him off right away regardless if he was gay, straight or a tranny.

I think people get to uptight with jokes now a days... my opinion is if gay people want to get married go for it... it doesn't matter to me nor does it bother me really... i remember the first time i encountered a flaming gay man more woman then woman i was kinda scared i'd never seen anything like it... but i was only like 15.

anyways, i've also heard the argument that you don't want your kids to see men kiss each other or hold hands... it doesn't really matter if your born that way does it?

EDIT: i wasn't talking about anyone here in the last sentence.. i've just heard the conservatives spew that stuff.

Acting camp, making sexuality the major aspect of your personality, is no different to a guy who won't stop talking about football or goths wearing goth clothes. A lot of people focus on one thing and make it a big deal. It doesn't mean you can't turn it off when you have to, like taking your piercings out for an interview, it just means you're more comfortable being that way.

That said, it's not homophobic to be annoyed by campness. Gay people can be annoying, the same was straight people can. Disabled people can be dicks, you don't have to give them the benefit of the doubt just because they don't know better. Kids are really irritating, no matter how much I'm told "he's a baby, he can't help it," it makes no difference. You can hate someone for being flamboyant, that's not homophobic.

It's also not homophobic to not want to watch gay guys getting off with each other. Like Jek said, watching old people and fat people is a turn off too. There's a load of different things people do that I'm fine with them doing, but I'd prefer not to watch. I'm not figure skating-phobic, I just really don't want to watch figure skating.

But to say you'd have a problem with your kid being gay? That is pretty homophobic. Being gay is natural, believe it or not, and wanting your child to be healthy, happy and comfortable with who he is should be more important than where he likes to put his wang. Having a problem with him being gay is like having a problem with him being ginger, or French. Only, you know, less acceptable.

The equality thing, especially as Rhys brings it up, is a fair point but missing the point a bit. Gay pride marches shouldn't mean we should have straight pride marches "for equality," it means gay people care more about their sexuality than we do. Which is fair, considering we haven't been held down and called "abnormal" for centuries. I'm not a fan of gay pride for the same reason I'm not a fan of black history month, I don't understand why they're necessary. Black history is just history. Gay pride is just pride. The sooner these groups stop thinking of themselves as different, and the sooner the rest of society stop giving a shit who or what they are, the better. But if they want to celebrate something, go for it. They're not the only group who celebrate one aspect of themselves over all the others, football fans have little pride gatherings every week. 99+% of them are men, and they all squash in together and celebrate their similarities, complete with matching clothes, flag waving and sing alongs. The whole thing is pretty gay, actually.

Damn gays.  They want it all.  Ridic.  Can't they just leave us nooooormal people alone?