General Football Banter

Well I can see why people would be complaining then. That would be like if Newcastle decided our new kit was going to be grey and white instead of black and white. An odd choice to make.

Can see Wenger ruining him, he'll be chucked back on the wing where he'll won't be as good. Most of what I've seen with Welbeck has been out wide, which isn't his position. Will be a shame for England (well could be, depends on whether Wenger has any sense really, which is doubtful).

Can see Wenger ruining him, he'll be chucked back on the wing where he'll won't be as good. Most of what I've seen with Welbeck has been out wide, which isn't his position. Will be a shame for England (well could be, depends on whether Wenger has any sense really, which is doubtful).

Walcott too. Wenger loves putting strikers on the wings.

Greatest thing you'll see this summer... Marouane Fellaini has actually dyed his huge afro blonde! Hilarious.

Brendan Rodgers' first game in charge of Celtic was a 1-0 defeat to Lincoln Red Imps. A part time Gibraltar team in the 2nd round of Champions League Qualifying.

New Newcastle (Away?) kit looks quite nice.

The Newcastle kits are quite nice this season (although I did like last season's home kit). The training tops though are stunning. Comes in 4 colours and they just look great.

Some shocking kits in the Prem this season. Chelsea's is awful. Arsenal have a weird stripe down the middle of theirs. Watford's is nasty.

If I remember right, as it was a few days ago I saw these, Tottenham's is nice as is Southampton's.

Creased up reading this in the paper the other day. Brede Hangeland was on a Norwegian podcast discussing his football career. He had to pick the laziest players he's played with. He did a full XI

GOALKEEPER

Wayne Hennessey (Palace)

Used to just lie on one of those thick blue mats in the gym while we were working out.

DEFENDERS

Chris Baird (Derby)

Whenever we did cardio, he asked the coach: ‘When can we go and play football?’

Zdenek Grygera (retired)

Great guy, good friend. When he arrived at Fulham, he told the coach: ‘I don’t do weights.’ He didn’t.

Erik ‘Panzer’ Hagen (retired)

As a centre-back, he was a big, strong but it must have all come from his genes. Not from gym work.

MIDFIELDERS

Wilfried Zaha (Palace)

Amazing physique, athletic, huge potential. Some Mondays, he’d come over to me and say: ‘I’m starting my programme now!’
He’d do five push-ups, sigh, then leave. He would have been incredible if he was serious.
Zaha later hit back at Hangeland, saying: “I don’t appreciate old team mates telling lies”

Jimmy Bullard (retired)

Great player, incredibly weak. Never interested in the gym. Clear-cut pick for laziest team.

Mousa Dembele (Tottenham)

Maybe the best I played with. But struggles with his physique. Never lifted weights. Has incredible balance. Had the right to not work out.

Bryan Ruiz (Sp Lisbon)

Don’t think he even knew where the gym was. Always wore long sleeves and gloves. If it was cold or away to Stoke, he’d never come along.

FORWARDS

Bobby Zamora (retired)

Strong but hated the gym. Whenever it was time for dead lifts, he’d start feeling his hamstring. Every single time we went to the gym.

Dimitar Berbatov (unattached)

If only he ran. Never seen a man get so many massages in my life. Whenever we were in the gym, Berbatov was getting a massage. I knew the guy who gave him the massages. Usually at the end of the season, the players would give all the physios a gift. But he’d massage Berbatov for hundreds of hours during the season and he would get nothing.

Emanuel Adebayor (unattached)

I was marking Adebayor in midfield. Suddenly he said: ’Ah, I’m hungry.’ I replied: ‘What?’ He said: ‘I can’t wait for the game to finish. I’m so hungry. Do you know a good restaurant in London?’

At Palace, when we had strength workouts, he would sit in the gym with a cup of coffee and a muffin. He was being paid by Man City, Tottenham and Palace at the same time, and he was sitting in the gym drinking coffee.

Joe Montana is the best!!!

Joe Montana is the best!!!

Are... Are you seriously bringing that shitty American football into our proper football thread? Get out!

... you mean you guys are talking Soccer?

Was watching the Spurs / Millwall game earlier and you could clearly hear chants of Yid Army on the BBC. But Millwall are in trouble because their fans were chanting "DVD" & "he sells three for a fiver" at Son Heung Min who's South Korean. Because of the connotations that Asians sell knock off films the FA said this is racist. I always thought this was more of a Chinese thing not South Korean who are clearly more technically advanced than most countries. So it's more the FA who are racist for automatically lumping all Asians into one catergory.